August 01, 2011

Don’t’ Smurf up the Tulip Table

Yes she's cute, but Smurfette is no Diane Keaton
It’s long overdue, but the Smurfs have finally made the jump from TV to the movies. My son, niece and I joined a theatre full of Smurf lovers, and a crowd of obnoxious 14-year-olds (in front of us) to see the smurfs debut on the silver screen. I am no movie critic so don’t expect a review here. But there is one very, very, very, very tiny spoiler in the following random ramble.
Something you’ll probably be surprised (not) to learn about me is that when I go to the movies, I’m keen on, wait for it…..the interior spaces! Never will I forget Diane Keaton’s houses in both “Something’s Gotta Give,” and in “As Good As It Gets.” And it doesn’t get much better than her characters’ incredible taste in homes.
Let’s just say Smurfette is no Diane Keaton. Here’s the Spoiler Alert: There is one scene in the movie when the Smurfs decide to brighten up and redecorate a certain couple’s NYC apartment. How sweet. I was horrified, however, when they chose to cover the tulip side table with a crocheted blanket.

Modern classic, tulip table + Crocheted Blankie = A major smurf up

If only Patrick Swayze were still around for a cameo appearance: “Nobody puts crochet on the tulip (table)!!“? Yes, they really smurfed up. To make matters worse, trimming the edges of this particular knitted number were some very large pom-pom balls. Aesthetically speaking, the only place this hooked throw needed to be thrown if not the trash was on your Peepaw’s Barcalounger. Although I’ve never seen the inside of a Smurf mushroom, I just don’t think decorating is their thing.

"Nobody puts crochet on the Tulip (table)!!"
So listen up Smurfs, I know your intentions were good, and crochet is nice for a cuddle on a cold day, but it just does not belong on such a classic design star like the tulip table. Stick to the things you do best like singing your smurftastic la-la song, saving clumsy Smurf from smurfing everything up, and smurfing away from that smurferable smurfmeister, Gargamel. (And anyway, where was Painter Smurf in this flick? Maybe he would have known better.)


Anonymous said...

Spoken like a true decorating-junkie (or should I say conoisseur?)! Maybe set design is in your future...until then, I would welcome any and all of your advice in designing my personal home set:-)

video jones said...

I suppose you would object to the multi-colored Afghan I have on my tulip table, too. I would be willing to replace it with a shag carpet remnant but I have a feeling you wouldn't like that either. What should I do?

Katherine Velie said...

david jones,
i think you should wipe the face paint off, and just admit you're papa smurf. There's no shame in your heritage.
la,, la, la, la

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