Lee's one hot party-crasher

Lee: the uninvited house guest this Labor Day weekend

Apparently, Lee loves a good barbecue and a dip in the pool.  He's here to crash your Labor Day plans, and in fact, ruin them.  But you must admit, he's good looking -- at least from a satellite's point of view.  Trade in the TV pixels for acryllic and oil, and suddenly I can envision Lee and his 'squalls' on my wall:

Michelle Armas 

Yangyang Pan

Kate Long Stevenson

Yangyang Pan

Michelle Armas

Katherine Velie

Park your car on the neutral ground, fill the flashlights with batteries, and grab a paintbrush because, unless you plan to swim down your street, pool time is out.
Take Care! xoxo

Warhol would be proud, Snookie

The only thing similar about Marilyn and Snookie, in this case, is the color orange.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I love a good reality show. Frankly, the more tasteless it is, the better.   Admit it you closet-watchers, these shows can provide plotlines so base that they exceed the entertainment value any half-hour sitcom with canned laughs could possibly provide. 

Freaks watching freaks pretty well sums it up.  I admit, I watch this trash too.

While the trash continues to clog up the TV guide, said trash is lining their pockets with wads of cash -- literally.  Yes, Snookie and The Situation are millionaires.

Jokes on us: 'The Situation' and Snookie are laughing to the bank and back.

If you haven’t heard of these two people, you need to leave the house more often.  Even if you don’t watch The Jersey Shore (of which I proudly only watched one season), the cast of this show has become pop culture icons and a leading example of how the definition of ‘celebrity’ has come to include camera hungry fools whose talents consist of fist-pumping, and GTL (gym, tanning and laundry for those not ‘in the know’).  Basically Andy Warhol and his 15-minute fame theory proved true.

Warhol -- famous for throwing wild parties, and perhaps for predicting the future.

So what do GTLers do with instant fame and money?  They get a Hollywood makeover of course!  For Pauly-D, The Situation, Vinnie and Ronnie, a makeover just means jugs of salon quality hair spray, plus a larger collection of track shoes and Ed Hardy t-shirts.  For the girls, as always, it’s a different story.  I didn’t even recognize these people when I saw this picture from the Video Music Awards:

What happened to  the sweat-suit clad tanned victims that made this series famous?

If you’re here, you know by now that I love a makeover.  Although their attire still rings Jersey (think sequins, animal print), their faces and bodies apparently got the standard Hollywood Rx .  Clearly their Jersey pad is also in need of a little nip/tuck to compliment their new faces/bodies. And guess who’s the girl to do it?  (Sheepishly raising my hand as I try to cover my face).  Okay, me:

 

Now that these people are here to stay –for the next 14 minutes at least, I’d like to see The Situation explain the connotation of this abomination that is such an aberration in the denotation of the civilization. 

Slow and Steady wins the race...

A tortoise shell hangs on Nate Berkus' wall in his Chicago apartment (via Elle Decor)
Note the striped rug and Chinese Chippendale chairs!

And the finish line is on bookshelves and walls all over.  The tortoise might be the ‘slowest you ever did meet,’ but his shell has kept steady pace in the design world for a few years.  Graphic and bold, tortoise shells are a sculptural accessory that can add texture and a sense of natural history to any space.  (*Genuine, antique shells should be purchased from a reliable source that can document them as a 'naturally shed shell.'  These protected animals should never be killed for their shell.) 

The good news for turtles is that there are resin and ceramic replicas of these coveted shells sold all over.

Tortoise shells as decorative objects on a bookshelf (via Elle Decor)

An antique tortoise shell hangs on New Orleans' Designer
Melissa Rufty's laquered walls .  (via House Beautiful.)

Kelly Wearstler lined the walls of La Marea Restaurant
at The Tides South Beach Hotel with resin tortoise shells.

Designer Mary McDonald creates a vignettte on a console with some mini tortoise shells.

A large Tortoise shell doubles as a fireplace screen.  (image via Elle Decor)

Jonathan Adler's Tortoise shell lamps.

Talented artist Amanda Talley creates masterpieces on tortoise shells. 

Mecox Gardens resin tortoise shell

The moral of this story is: a little inspiration goes a long way, especially when your pockets aren't deep enough for some of these fine accesories (the Mecox Gardens resin shell is $995, and J. Adler's lamps are $695...).  Look what I found at PetSmart the other day for $11.99:

What's good enough for some reptile's cage....

is good enough for my bookshelves.

And you know I've been dying to say this:  Turtle Time!  (if you don't watch the disaster that is Real Housewives of NYC: a. Good for you, 

b. Please disregard the last comment, I'm not really sure what it means either, so I can't explain it.)